Sunday, June 04, 2006

Ringin' in my Head

I guess I'm overdue for a post huh? It's not for the lack of desire to write that I don't write but the lack of ideas to write of that keep me away from clicking that new post button.

Should I just write random senseless crap like I did in my last post about absolutely nothing (aka the thoughts that go through my head throughout the day which are, fairly enough, very well summarized in the words 'absolutely nothing') I guess my onnly other choice is to randomly stumble on something that I just HAVE to write about. Odds of that happening according to Vegas 550000 to 1. Ladies and gentleman place your bets.

So today was graduation party day. Two parties today one on Saturday. As far as I know all three of these people are going to a community college next year and they are all planning on living at home throughout their year of college.

This leads me to wonder, don't they have a desire for independence? Going to a boarding high school i've lived in dorms for the majority of the past 5 years of my life. I wouldn't have traded it for anything. Now that I've experienced that independence I don't think I could stay at home for longer than a summer without going completely insane. I'm already about to lose it by the end of each summer. Is it one of those things where since you don't know what it's like you can't want it? Does it depend on your family life? I thought everyone, especially around 18, 19, 20 years old would crave this sort of independence.

I'm obviously wrong. I would be curious to know what kinds of things affect this and how. However I doubt too there are too many studies out there entitled 'Desires for independence in the young adult stage, what affects it and how?' If anyone knows one off of the top of their head feel free.

Another thing that those graduation parties made me think about. The difference between how my life was a year ago and now. Did I complicate my life? Did someone else complicate my life? Did life complicate my life? I'm not asking for sympathy. Far from it, I've learned a lot from the different things that have been thrown my way over the course of this last year. I just can't put my finger on exactly what aspect of life got so much harder.

Finally, my last questioning memory that nagged me today. Actually it nagged me quite a bit before today, but it came up again today. In the course of a year of living in high school dorms I made so many really close friends that I don't think I'll ever lose touch with. So when I came up to Bethany I naturally (I think it would be natural) expected the same thing. But I never got that feeling from anyone up there. Is it because it's college and everyone's too busy to make friends that close...no, that's definetly not it. I can't help but think It was actually very much my own fault for never really opening up to anyone. Then again, I never really felt like there was anybody I'd feel real comfortable opening up to either. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Maybe I will never make friends that are as close as the one's I had in high school.

Side Note: For the paragraph above and for other reasons I'm feeling very mixed feelings about going back to Bethany next year. (And for those of you who actually know me in person and not just from this blog the 'other reasons' probably aren't at all what you're thinking, although they're probably very closely related)

Song: The Lashes - Sometimes the Sun

1 comment:

Cinthia said...

For someone who is short on blogging ideas, you sure had a lot of interesting things to say in this post :)

I always enjoy reading your blog. You seem like such a mature, poised individual for your age. Maybe independence at an early age does that to people! In any case you turned out to be a fine gentleman!