Put Another Song In

Choices, we spend everyday, all day, making them. However big or little these decisions may be we are always making choices. We choose to get up in the morning, we choose to go class, we choose to listen, we choose to answer questions.

We decide to say something, we decide to stand up for ourselves, we decide to stand up for others and we decide to sit back and watch everything blow by us.

The thing is, these 'little' choices, these 'tiny' decisions mean everything to our lives. One little decision can send our lives down completely different paths. For better or worse.

Of course not everything is under our control. But the passive attitude that we so often assume by telling ourselves that it wasn't under our control can be devastating to the path we want to be following.

Sitting and watching everything go by seems to be the norm. It's just assumed that if something goes one way that that is the way it's supposed to go. We can't do anything about it.

I'm incredibly guilty of this very thing in so many different ways. I can't even tell you how many times I've just let things happen. So many times I've made the passive choice. Was it because it was easier? Probably.

That's no way of doing things though. Passiveness is just another word for laziness and it stops here.

Song: Hootie & The Blowfish - Only Lonely

Is it all that Great Without Me?

Why do people wait for things? Think about it. Has there been a time, in your life, that you haven't been waiting for something to happen?

At work you wait for that big promotion, or that new opportunity. At a bar you wait for the perfect moment to approach that one girl. At home you wait for that phone call you've been expecting. Some of us even wait for the second coming of Christ.

Why oh why do we wait? Is it really all that bad right now? Is your life, as it is right now, so bad that the best thing that you have to do is sit around and wait for something better to come along?

Think about it. No, REALLY think about it. It's not. I don't know who's reading this blog right now. Not much of anybody from what the page counter says. But I hope that one person reads this and agrees with me.

It's not all that bad. In fact it's probably pretty damn good. Yes I mean your life.

I mean you, who, may be working your way through 2 or even 3 jobs this summer to pay for college tuition. You who may be working 60+ hours each week. You who may be out of college and drowning in the monotonous rigors of a 9-5 cubicle job. Why do we do it? Because we think, we look forward, we hope for something better.

And there it is. Hope. There's always that little bit of hope in everybody that there's something better. When it comes down to it, yes, there probably is something better. But does that hope of something better keep us from enjoying the good that we have at the moment?

I'm not saying be content with what you have. No. Contentment never got anybody anywhere. Think about it, if everyone was always content with what they had, we would never have even got as far as inventing the wheel.

I think there are two kinds of contentment though. Passive contentment, and aggressive contentment. (Stick with me here)

Those who are passively content with things the way they are, are happy with their lives, but they get nowhere in life, never accomplish anything and never grow as a person. As far as I'm concerened nobody who's passively content will ever stay content. because there is a desire in every person that craves and feeds on accomplishments and succeeding in things they had never done or previously thought impossible. Leaving that desire unfulfilled for long periods of time can bring even the most content people down.

Those who are aggresively content, however, actively pursue their goals and are constantly fulfilling that desire to achieve and succeed in new things every day. They are always moving forward, yet always content with what they have at the moment.

Don't spend all your time waiting. Things will happen whether or not you wait. Be content. Don't be content to the point of laziness yet be happy. It isn't all that bad.

Song: Hootie & The Blowfish - Let Her Cry

Like a Rock You Waited so Patiently

Y'know what's funny? The idea of the movie 'What Women Want'. The whole movie is based on a faulty idea. The idea that women know what women want and that a single man (Mel Gibson) who can read women's minds can figure out what they reall want.

I've got news for you, if a guy could read womens minds, he'd probably know less about women than he does now. Because guess what? Women don't know what they want.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying men do know what they want, cause I don't know where my life is going right now.

But here's the thing, Women, unlike men, pretend to know exactly what they want. They tell men these things, and men, the obliging being they are attempt to give them these things.

These same obliging men then end up in a spiraling, confusing, lost path to nowhere. And for what? Doing 'What Women Want'

My advice? A woman tells you what she wants? Do the opposite, the funny part is, she'll probably end up realizing that that is what she had wanted all along, and she'll thank you for it?

Make sense? No? Good.

Song: Josh Turner - Would You Go With Me

It's Really Good to Hear your Voice Saying My Name

I could go for some ice cream right now. I could really really go for some ice cream.

I just went on a 16 mile bike ride. 16 miles round trip in about 45 minutes. I still can't decide what I like better, road biking, or mountain biking. When it comes to speed you can't really compare mountain biking to road biking...you can just get going so much faster on a road bike. But going down a nice steep hill on a mtb coming inches away from hitting trees and other things in the path will get your heart beating and the adrenaline flowing more than a road bike ever has.

Yet, for some reason, I seem to be leaning more towards road biking. I can't figure out why. But I haven't really gotten a really good trail for my mountain bike yet either. I'm waiting for that to figure it out. Once I get back to Minnesota I'm going to get on a good trail and then make my decision.

Other than that, I got my new bag for next year...I know, I know, it's a bag who cares? But it's a really nice bag, called a Chrome Citizen. It's a bike messenger bag. It'll come in handy when I have two bikes and don't have a car around up at college.

Taylor Swift - When You Think Tim McGraw

Tonights the Night the World Begins Again

Country music is great. What emotion doesn't country music evoke? That's right you can't name one. Music is all about emotion and feeling, and country music covers just about every emotion and feeling there is to cover. Think about it.

I have a feeling that this new bike isn't going to be very good for my health. I don't have a very good history with bikes. Broken arms, teeth, sprained wrists and ankles, broken fingers. That was all within a period of a couple years. In mainly flat areas. I can only imagine what I can do with hills and jumps. I'll call the emergency room ASAP once I get my new bike I think.

I hate summers sometimes. I'm getting to the really really anxious to get away from my house part of the summer now. I can't wait. I may have already said this, but I don't remember for sure. Next summer I'll have my own car though, that'll help alot I think.

Song: Gary Allan - The Best I Ever Had

I Can See You Die a Little More Inside

(If you really don’t want to read all of this, you should skip to the last paragraph.)

Have you ever been so tired that you couldn’t even think? All day during work today I kept getting that glassy eyed look you get when you’ve been driving straight at the same speed down the interstate for an extended period of time. Productive work day huh? Actually I got a surprising amount of stuff done all things considered.

I’ve been looking into getting a new bike lately, my old one has something wrong with it’s rear derailleur. My old bike is also a road bike (the tires are about an ¼” wide). I’ve always wanted a mountain bike and I think I may finally get one. I’m looking at two brands in particular, Specialized and Fuji. The Fuji that I’m looking at is called the ‘Thriller’ and there are two Specialized bikes that I’m looking at; one is called the rockhopper and the other one slipped my mind right now. I would look it up, but I can’t get online.

There’s a big storm outside right now. There are power lines down on the main street by my house and we have no power right now. Thank God for laptops huh? The storm was amazing though, the way it came in. I was upstairs dishing up some ice cream and all of the sudden I just heard this whooshing sound. The downpour started and the wind howled. The news early this evening said that the winds would be destructive winds up to 80 mph. They pulled off the destructive part pretty well with the power lines. I won’t be surprised to see a few trees down tomorrow either.

I don’t think I’ve ever talked about religion in this blog, I usually try to steer clear of a lot of it. Not because I don’t have my own opinions and views but because I get so much of it at home with my dad being a pastor that when it comes time to talk about it anywhere else I’m all ‘religioned’ out. But when I opened our garage door to look outside at the storm the first thing that came to mind was ‘way to go God. That’s awesome.’ I know some people are scared of storms like that and even my mom was starting to get worried through some of it, but all I could think of was Romans 8:28 (off the top of my head) All things work to the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose. The worst God could do would end up turning out good in some way. Put a tree through my house, not only would it make my summer more interesting in various ways but it would somehow work out for good. Now you see why that’s my favorite Bible passage?

I know to make a blog post interesting it’s more understandable if you stick to one topic. But I’ve never been very good at that. When I write things tend to just weasel their way into my head and I can’ t just not write about them. That would drive me insane just leaving that all sit up there. There’s only a limited amount of space to be dealt out. My ideas are like tenants in the hotel of my brain. They stay for a night and then take off. (The vacant sign’s bulbs need replacement after so much use.)

My last topic that I wanted to bring up though is caring. What if you care about someone, but you don’t want to care about them? What do you do then? Go ahead, try it, think of someone you care about a lot, that’s step one. Now just try and imagine not caring about them at all anymore. Just think about not calling, not emailing, not contacting this person at all. Here’s the thing though, you can’t care. Sure, most people are strong enough that they can not keep in contact with someone for a little while, but does the care disappear? No. You still wonder how that person is doing, what they’re up to, if their life is going well for them. You still care. So what is there to do about this? Should anything be done?

What I really want to know though is, is it bad to not want to care? (Read this next one carefully). Is it good to NOT be able to NOT care? Or is that just weakness? Of course you can look at it both ways. You can come up with Pros and Cons for either side. But when it comes down to it; in the big picture, is indifference to your own feelings and emotions, to others feelings and emotions a good thing?

Song: Toby Keith – A Little Too Late

Gotta Be More Than Hopin' it's Right

Does anybody else really want to play volleyball? Not inside volleyball. No gym. I want to play beach volleyball. I want to dive around in the sand. Forget the fact that I suck at volley ball, and that it takes me around 5 or 6 warm-up serves before I can even get my shoulder to let me put the ball over the net. I just want to play some beach volleyball. Or go to the beach at all.

I live 25-30 minutes away from Lake Michigan and I haven't been to the beach this summer. How sad is that? Not that I'm already not sunburnt enough...I'm thinking of taking a bike ride over to Lake Michigan though. What do you think? Should I give it a shot? I'll have to see how hilly and everything it would be though. I'm still not in the best shape so if it's too hilly that may be a big no right there. Otherwise that may be something you hear about sometime in the near future.

All I have to do is remember more water. Last time I finished the bottle before I even started on the way back.

Song: Mario Vasquez - Gallery

Like It's Going Out of Style

So here I am sitting in bed, with my new laptop (yes!), thinking that I need to write in my blog.

First off, I was stretching for something interesting to write in that last post, it sucked. This goes to prove my point that I try to make to every writing teacher. If you don't have anything to write about or you don't want to write at the moment, whatever you write...it's gonna suck.

So, me the last couple of days? Well, I went for a long bike ride on the 4th. I figured that was a pretty constructive way to spend my day off. Y'know, there was a summer, I think around 6th grade that that was all I did, ride my bike around. I'd go on three or four bike rides a day. I had no job, it was nice out, all my friends lived about 30-45 minutes away. Why not? I was in such good shape too. I could've challenged Lance Armstrong. I would've won, he knows it.

I really want to take a bike ride to Lake Michigan before the end of the summer. I have to see how the roads are though, because it's a 30 minute car ride, it'd be a hell of a bike ride.

As for the fact that college is coming up again in about 5 more weeks now? I'm kind of stuck between whether I want to do something with the business end of computers or the IT end of them? Somebody needs to tell me what to do with my life.

I'm addicted to two TV shows right now. Grey's Anatomy and The Office. I kind of feel like a girl sometimes watching Grey's Anatomy. But then I think of how many guys I know that watch 'The OC' which I personally feel is much more soap opera-ish and girly. That makes me feel much better about myself. So thank you.

Song: Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars

Mosquitos in Tawas

I just went through my photos today. I wish all the photos I have were digital. It's so much easier to organize them. I guess there's kind of something about regular photos, but it's the same kind of thing with digital photos too. You get the same kind of nostalgia either way. It made me think about the simplicity of things, dare I say, back then.

But here's what it made me think. While sure things are more complicated now than they were, say, when we were 12, alot of that is us too. We like to challenge ourselves with more complicated ideas; we like to take on more complex problems with millions of little intricate details that all need to collectively collaborate to work together, making each and every task vitally important and increasingly hard.

Then we like to complain about it. Bringing our work home with us we proclaim that we have too much to do and that we don’t have any time to get it done.

If you don’t want to work more than your 8 hours a day then don’t, if you have other stuff to do then do it. Nobody’s going to criticize you. Do your things on your time. You’ll thank yourself for it.

Oh, and before you say anything, no I'm not advocating getting drunk. It's just a song. Settle down. You know who you are.

Song: Toby Keith - Get Drunk and Be Somebody

If You're Scared Don't Show It

One week and many brash, uninformed speeches later...

The convention wasn't bad. I was really surprised at the amount of free time that I didn't have. (For those of you who are too lazy to look at the last post I was at an ELS synod convention.) Well, I had free time but it was spent organizing things to do during my other free time. What made the convention bearable was the down time filled with other people. I had a few people around just about every night. Applebee's has some really good smoothies. I don't remember the name, but I'd recommend the top one on the menu.

So now I'm actually quite dissapointed to be home. Funny how that works huh? I've got nobody to hang out with here. Something that really surprised me though was that the people who lived right there within a few minutes of each other didn't hang out that much? I don't get it. Living away from my friends for a good 4 years now during the summer I get used to it. But if you live that close I can't imagine not hanging out, at the least, weekly!

One step closer to getting my laptop. The loan was approved but they made the disbursement date August 29th for some reason. I'll have to call about that. It would be nice to have the laptop all setup the way I want it and everything before I'm already starting school.

I'm still kind of skeptical about going back though. (I talked about this before here.) I don't know hy, I haven't quite pinpointed it. I'll be sure to let you know though.

Song: Little Big Town - Bring It On Home

So am I still waiting?

A week of my first fun plans of the summer right down the shitter. So my parent's were going to be gone for a week (up at Bethany for the ELS Synod Convention.) So naturally I called some people up and had planned for a few of them to come over and have a good time.

Earlier this year my dad asked me to be an alternate for the Convention (see where this is going yet?). I accepted knowing that the same two guys have been going for the past 3 or 4 years and they've never had to use an alternate before. Well, now, all of the sudden one of them decides, 'hey. I'm not gonna go.' So now I have to throw out my *&$%in plans and go over to Minnesota to listen to some 'learned' pastors (who have forgotten that it says in the Bible itself to take it for what it says and not twist it to what you want it to say.) try to tear our synod a new one with their crap. Personally, my vote is just to kick them out. We're a small synod, honestly, screw the rules, you don't like what we believe? Leave.

So, to sum it up, I have to go to Minnesota. I don't want to go to Minnesota. I'm not happy. F!$k.

Song: Eminem - When I'm Gone

Until I feel the sun

A laptop for every child. This is a goal that is becoming closer and closer to reality. MIT Media Lab founder Nicholas Negroponte (I don't know how to pronounce it either) has been developing a laptop that will cost around $100. By 2010 he wants to have these laptops circulating to every child in the world.

The best part of it? It is powered by a handcrank. According to WIRED news one minute of hand cranking will give this 500MHz notebook 40 minutes of power. That's innovation.

The biggest breakthrough that made this project possible was the developement of a low cost LCD screen. All things considered LCD screens end up being the biggest chunk of the cost in a laptop computer. This screen was completed by CTO Mary Lou Jepsen.

While this may not seem like it would affect us at all it really does. Technological innovation in some of the worlds countries is nowhere near what it should be. This gives those countries a much better chance of catching up. The governments of Thailand and Brazil are ready to put down one million dollars each already for these computers.

These computers are not going to teach their new users to use them themselves however. This opens up an interesting opportunities for jobs possibly. The other thing that I think would work very well would be to have college students go over there to help. This would be a great experience for college aged kids to interact with other nationalities and cultures while providing a service as well.

Is this a dream or reality though? Well, WIRED.com already says that Negroponte is looking for manufacturers. "I even get checks in the mail from people who are ordering them, " he says.

Come 2010 look out world. Negroponte says, "It's every child in the world whether they want one or not. They may not know they want one."

Song: Nick Lachey - What's Left of Me

Ringin' in my Head

I guess I'm overdue for a post huh? It's not for the lack of desire to write that I don't write but the lack of ideas to write of that keep me away from clicking that new post button.

Should I just write random senseless crap like I did in my last post about absolutely nothing (aka the thoughts that go through my head throughout the day which are, fairly enough, very well summarized in the words 'absolutely nothing') I guess my onnly other choice is to randomly stumble on something that I just HAVE to write about. Odds of that happening according to Vegas 550000 to 1. Ladies and gentleman place your bets.

So today was graduation party day. Two parties today one on Saturday. As far as I know all three of these people are going to a community college next year and they are all planning on living at home throughout their year of college.

This leads me to wonder, don't they have a desire for independence? Going to a boarding high school i've lived in dorms for the majority of the past 5 years of my life. I wouldn't have traded it for anything. Now that I've experienced that independence I don't think I could stay at home for longer than a summer without going completely insane. I'm already about to lose it by the end of each summer. Is it one of those things where since you don't know what it's like you can't want it? Does it depend on your family life? I thought everyone, especially around 18, 19, 20 years old would crave this sort of independence.

I'm obviously wrong. I would be curious to know what kinds of things affect this and how. However I doubt too there are too many studies out there entitled 'Desires for independence in the young adult stage, what affects it and how?' If anyone knows one off of the top of their head feel free.

Another thing that those graduation parties made me think about. The difference between how my life was a year ago and now. Did I complicate my life? Did someone else complicate my life? Did life complicate my life? I'm not asking for sympathy. Far from it, I've learned a lot from the different things that have been thrown my way over the course of this last year. I just can't put my finger on exactly what aspect of life got so much harder.

Finally, my last questioning memory that nagged me today. Actually it nagged me quite a bit before today, but it came up again today. In the course of a year of living in high school dorms I made so many really close friends that I don't think I'll ever lose touch with. So when I came up to Bethany I naturally (I think it would be natural) expected the same thing. But I never got that feeling from anyone up there. Is it because it's college and everyone's too busy to make friends that close...no, that's definetly not it. I can't help but think It was actually very much my own fault for never really opening up to anyone. Then again, I never really felt like there was anybody I'd feel real comfortable opening up to either. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Maybe I will never make friends that are as close as the one's I had in high school.

Side Note: For the paragraph above and for other reasons I'm feeling very mixed feelings about going back to Bethany next year. (And for those of you who actually know me in person and not just from this blog the 'other reasons' probably aren't at all what you're thinking, although they're probably very closely related)

Song: The Lashes - Sometimes the Sun

Seeing Red

I'm going to apologize for the complete and utter randomness of this post ahead of time.

Who doesn't like a day off of work? Well, I could've used the money, but I can sacrifice that $72 for sleeping in late, laying out on the lake, and grilling some chicken...delicious.

I had a good workout today. But I can't wait CANT WAIT until I get back to a weightroom with heavy dumbbells. Right now I'm using plates for dumbbells. I always start off the week good in terms of weightlifting and working out. But then I get lazy as the week goes on. I don't know why it's so much harder here at home than it is at school. Sure in college it was my job. But at high school I had no problem weightlifting every day. Weird. I guess I'll have to work on that motivation thing.

So I think my videocard in my computer just kinda blew itself out today. So I'm trying to figure stuff out in terms of if I should build a new desktop. If I get a new laptop I will have a computer. But I will only have so much storage. That becomes a problem because I have ALOT of stuff on my computer. So I'm not sure where exactly to go with that yet. It'll help when I can actually go apply for loans to see how feasible the new laptop idea is. But I can't do that until I get all my financial aid stuff back from Bethany. Geez.

Question - is it geez or jeez? Or is it personal preference? I always wondered...

Song: The Afters - Beautiful Love

Educated Guesses and Uneducated Opinions

Opinion Columns, Writers getting paid to rant. Here's an opinion. The majority of opinion columns are uselessly taking up space in the newspaper.

What’s the problem? Uneducated authors. These people don’t do their research before writing about whatever seems to be on their mind at the moment. I guess this could define the majority of bloggers out there also. The thing is, bloggers don’t get paid to write what they write.

You want opinions? I’ll give you opinions, so will 5 million other bloggers out there. The funny thing is I bet you could find bloggers who, without getting paid, would gladly write opinion articles for a weekly newspaper. Even better, they’d even do a little bit of research beforehand.

Now before I go any further I’d like to bring into the picture one fact that I’ve so far left out. In this article that I read the author even mentioned that she did not no much about the topic and that the little research she did she did not understand.

So in her defense, Halfway through her article, she at least warns you that it is utterly useless. So, my guess, I won’t be reading her articles anymore. Unless it’s out of sheer curiosity to find out what kind of stupid crap she churns out week after week. That’s my educated guess at least. Anybody have some uneducated opinions they want to throw at me on this?

Song: Josh Gracin - Favorite State of Mind

Do They?

I'll write a real entry soon. I'm loving music lately though. I really wish I had an awesome voice so I could just sing all the time. But for now I'll post lyrics.

Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
Theres pictures of you and I on the walls around me the way that it was and should have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

Well I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

Would it help if i turned a sad song on
"All by Myself" would sure hit me hard, now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

Cause I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

oOOo

Well I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with this pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

Song: Keith Urban - Tonight I Wanna Cry

Don't Worry...Be Happy

I really have nothing to write about but I really really like this song:

Dancin' where the stars go blue
Dancin' where the evening fell
Dancin' in your wooden shoes
In a wedding gown

Dancin' out on 7th street
Dancin' through the underground
Dancin' little marionette
Are you happy now?

Where do you go when you're lonely
Where do you go when you're blue
Where do you go when you're lonely
I'll follow you
When the stars go blue

Laughing with your pretty mouth
Laughing with your broken eyes
Laughing with your lover's tongue
In a lullaby

Where do you go when you're lonely
Where do you go when you're blue
Where do you go when you're lonely
I'll follow you
When the stars go blue
The stars go blue, stars go blue

Song: Tim McGraw - When The Stars go Blue

Isn't Happy Monday an Oxymoron?

So on my way to work this morning (at 6AM) I realize that it's cold and I forgot my sweatshirt on the kitchen table and that I'll probably be working in a warehouse. I stop at WalMart on the way there to grab a cheap sweatshirt. And WalMart...WALMART...doesn't have sweatshirts. Some of the most basic human attire and freakin WalMart doesn't have it? So I bought a $7-on-clearance track jacket. Once I put it on outside the store I realize that it's on clearance because wearing it feels like wearing razor blades.

So then I get to work and find out I'll be workin on the computers all day and it was all for naught. I went back after work and returned the jacket and got a new wallet, and graham crackers which I am eating right now. They're delicious.

Thinking about how much money I am going to make this summer and how I am going to do absolutely nothing with it kinda sucks. It's great to save. But with my 'spending' money after I save most of it, I will buy...who knows...but it probably will be something that is pretty damn useless and not that entertaining. Then again, that probably won't be too bad either, because then my 'spending money' for the summer can be used for spending money during the school year when I actually have people to do stuff with. I think I'm going to get one of those countdown things for my computer until school starts...kinda sad that that's what gives the summer meaning.

Oh yeah...Just a little something I saw on someone else's blog that I wrote a comment on over there. Figured I might as well put it here too.

This is what they posted: If only more guys were like Jim from The Office or Mr. Darcy....

This is what I wrote: OOoooo do I hate it when girls say stuff like if only guys were like this guy or that guy from this tv show or that movie...Not because some guys aren't.

But because a guy can do absolutely everything he can think of to be that kind of guy from that tv show or movie and then that same girl who wanted that kind of guy so bad decides she'd rather still pick the guy who treats her like shit and could care less about her. And THEN they have the nerve to complain about how much that guy treats her like shit and doesn't care.

My little rants over now...thats one of those things that really pisses me off really bad though.

Song: Teddy Geiger - For You I Will (Confidence)

Tell Me Something I Haven't Read

I almost just cut myself...I was trying to close a pocket knife and the knife part just swung out. Anyways...

I got the newspaper today. On the front page of the 'Perspectives' section was an article entitled 'Online and Outraged.' This article was about a woman who would write about, well, basically, how much she hated the republican party.

So I ask, how does this get onto the front page of a newspaper? If I talked about how much I disliked the fact that the US keeps digging itself further and further into debt without even thinking about the future at all do I warrant an article on the front page?

Maybe I should talk about oil prices and how the per barrel prices are supposedly going down yet the gas station prices stay the same. Or how the new alternatives that the Department of Energy are researching need to begin to be implemented now not 20 years from now.

What I'm curious to address though is not how I can become more popular on this blog but why do people even read any blogs? Well, I guess it's one form of time-wasting entertainment. But why do people care so much about other people's opinions? It seems like people just go to read something without so much as their own opinion in mind and come out full of fiery vigor ardent to kill anyone who opposes the opinion that was presented in the piece they just read.

Be your own person. Don't just adopt opinions and views because you read them. Learn from them, add them to your ideas. Then we can talk.

Song: Cascada - Everytime We Touch

I Can't Find Myself Again

So Here I stand
On nothing but air
Waiting for you
And life to be fair

But here's the truth
Life loved you first

Now here I lay
Dreaming of you
And things we used to do
But for me life never changed
Everything there was was simply rearranged

And this I know
I'd always go
To hell and back for you

Here's the spot
Take the plunge
This is what I do

Cause here's the truth
Life loved you first
-----------------------------------------------
I thought I figured it out
This time there was no doubt

Last I saw you standing there
I try to pretend that I dont even care

But this is the thing
That I'll tell you today
I don't know if I'll ever be okay

Because the longer I wait for you
More stupid things I'm bound to do

And I try to figure out...you
What you're always thinkin about...me
When you hear my name
When you see my face
What's runnin through your brain
And is that always the case?

And I wish I could know
What's in your head
When you close your eyes
Lyin in your bed

So here I stand
Guessin again

And here I wait
Again and again and again
Waitin for you

And I try to figure out...you
what you're always thinkin about...me
When you hear my name
When you see my face
What's runnin through your brain
And is that always the case?

And I try to figure out...you
What you're always thinkin about...me
When I hear your name
Is is always the case?
Because I see that doubt hiding in your face